In Pursuit of Knowledge
by MaryRoyale
Summary: Knowledge is the pinnacle to which all true Seekers aspire. Rowena has always believed this to be true. But what is she willing to sacrifice on the altar of wisdom? Rowena/Helga established relationship. Femmeslash.


**_The Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition- Season 2 Round 13_**

**_Team:_**_ Falmouth Falcons_

**_Author: _**_MaryRoyale_

**_Position:_**_ Beater #2_

**_Round 13 Challenge: _**_Romance Challenge! (Beater #2 was assigned Rowena/Helga)_

**_Official Disclaimer_**_: The original characters of this story are the property of the J.K. Rowling. No infringement of pre-existing copyright is intended. It is my contention that this work of fan fiction is fair use under copyright law. No monies received for receipt of this work. _

**_Pairing: _**_Harry/Hermione_

**_Rating:_**_ T__  
><em>**_Word Count:_**_ approx. 2500_

_**Warning:**__ Femmeslash. (I would think the pairing would be self-explanatory, but… you know.)_

_**A/N:**__ I was a medieval history major. I can even tell you the issues that the Founders give me. Let's not even address the fact that no one had last names as we know them nowadays. Let's also not address the fact that both Rowena and Helga are Anglo-Saxon names yet Rowena is supposed to be Scottish (not that there was a "Scotland" at the time) and Helga is Welsh (not that there was a "Wales" either). I truly struggled with this challenge mostly because what is listed as canon is almost impossible given the time frame AND what the HP wiki lists for things such as the invention of Floo powder, etc. _

_/\/\/\/\_

The Hidden History of Rowena's Diadem

"Wisdom is the only thing worth anything," Rowena stated and she glanced around the room to make sure that every student's eyes met hers unflinchingly. "It is a greater treasure than rubies or pearls. It is more priceless than gold."

The classroom was completely silent as it always was when Rowena lectured. No student dared even to cough for fear of missing something critically important.

"For millennia, humans have struggled to answer the great philosophical questions. I want you to pick one of these debates and give me five different philosophers' arguments. Remember to include Eastern philosophers as well. If you are unfamiliar with any there are books in our library which cover the great philosophers of Arabia, the Levant and the Far East," Rowena concluded.

A hand rose tentatively. "Professor?"

Rowena turned and spotted the student. He was Muggleborn, she remembered. One of Godric's Gryffindors. "Yes?"

"But… aren't they all godless heretics?" He asked with a self-righteous expression.

Rowena clenched her hands at her sides. _Merlin save me from Gryffindors._ "I think if you read the books in the library you will discover that the people who inhabit the lands east of us are hardly godless," she said at last. She paused a moment, choosing her words carefully, and then continued. "Just because a person does not share your beliefs does not mean that what they have to say is invalid." She glanced around the room. "If that is all, class dismissed."

/\/\/\/\

"Mother?" Helena called.

"I'm in here," Rowena replied.

Helena cautiously entered her mother's workroom. "Mother… you've missed your last three lectures."

"Have I?" Rowena murmured absently.

Helena sighed. "Yes, Mother, you have. What are you working on this time?"

"A way to amplify intelligence," Rowena explained. She glanced up at her daughter. "You can take over the rest of my afternoon. You know the lectures as well as I do."

"Mother!" Helena protested.

Rowena frowned at her daughter. "What? My time is better spent here working on my project. You'll be fine."

With a soft growl of frustration that Rowena never noticed Helena turned on her heel and stalked out of her mother's rooms.

/\/\/\/\

"Mam?" Helena slipped into Helga's rooms and carefully stepped around the Devil's Snare. "Mam are you in?"

"Anytime for you my darling," Helga called from her workrooms. She was tugging off her large, leather work gloves when Helena entered. "Can you help me with these blasted things?"

"Hold still," Helena told her sternly and she tried to unlace the thick cord that held them in place. "She's getting worse."

Helga sighed. "I heard that you gave her lectures this afternoon." She sighed in relief once the gloves were off. "Thank you, dear. What do you want me to do?"

"Is there anything you can do?" Helena countered.

Helga grimaced. "Not really. She won't listen to me either, if that's what you were wondering."

"I'm used to her ignoring me," Helena muttered. She cast a sad glance at Helga. "But for her to ignore _you_… she's never done that before."

Helga snorted and patted Helena's cheek. "That's not exactly true. There have been times that your mother has had to ignore me for our own safety. If your father hadn't died in that border skirmish you probably wouldn't even have been named Helena. Your mother wouldn't have dared to do so."

Helena frowned. "Why not?"

Helga gave her a sad smile. "You've been so isolated here in Hogwarts. Out there, among the Muggles, what your mother and I have would be called an abomination. There were already whispers in Keep Ravenclaw that I came to visit too often and that your mother and I were too close. People would have puzzled out that your name is a blend of Helga and Rowena and there would have been a reckoning."

Helena's eyes widened in horror. "I'm glad then," she whispered fiercely. She flung her arms around the woman she thought of as another mother and hugged her tightly. "I love you, mam."

Helga hugged her back. "I love you too, Helena. Now go finish your notes for tomorrow's lectures and I'll see if I can't talk to your mother. Will that be all right?"

Helena nodded and rubbed at her eyes. "Aye. I'll go work on it now."

"Good girl," Helga told her approvingly.

/\/\/\/\

"Rowena? What are you doing?" Helga demanded with her hands on her hips. "When was the last time you ate?"

"Ate?" Rowena echoed with a frown. She looked up from her calculations and equations and peered blearily at Helga.

"_Cariad_, I admire hard work as much as the next person, you know that I do, but you simply must eat something," Helga insisted.

"I can't stop now," Rowena protested.

Helga frowned at her. "You look as though you haven't eaten or slept in a week. The House Elves tell me that you haven't asked them for anything in two weeks. You have to take a break, Rowena."

Rowena huffed indignantly. "But my work is so close to being completed!"

"I'm sure that it is. Taking a small break might help you make the final breakthrough. You know that's happened in the past," Helga wheedled shamelessly.

"That's true," Rowena acceded.

Helga smiled at her. "Excellent. Some hot mead, some porridge and a nice hot bath and you'll be feeling yourself again."

"Oh fine." Rowena surrendered gracelessly. She stood up and stalked out of her workrooms. "But only for a candlemark!"

"Yes dear," Helga agreed.

/\/\/\/\

Once the diadem was complete Rowena relaxed slightly. She began lecturing again and was once again a frequent visitor of the library and took her meals in the Great Hall. She wore the diadem everywhere. Helga couldn't even get her take it off when they went to bed.

"_Cariad_… you can't possibly wear that to sleep in," Helga protested.

Rowena sniffed. "Of course I can. Why waste my sleeping hours whilst my mind can focus on more important matters. Who knows? I might have an incredible vision — one even greater than my vision of Hogwarts!"

Helga rolled her eyes. "Very well." She slid into bed and waited for Rowena to slide in next to her. Once Rowena was settled next to her Helga leaned over and kissed her lightly. "Good night, _cariad_."

"Good night, _mo leannan_," Rowena replied distantly. She closed her eyes and began to breathe deeply.

As time passed Rowena became more and more distant with everyone. She held herself in seclusion for her studies and eventually gave up her professorship to one of her favorite protégés so that she could more fully devote herself to her work. The fact that she had completely overlooked her own daughter was remarked upon, but never within Professor Hufflepuff's hearing.

"Don't you worry Helena," Helga had told her. "That blasted diadem is responsible for your mother's behavior. I wish she'd never made the thing."

"But Mam!" Helena stifled a sob. "She doesn't even care that you're ill."

Helga snorted. "I'm fine, Helena. What a really need is a cwtch with my favorite daughter."

Helena just looked at Helga. "I'm your only daughter."

Helga shrugged unrepentantly. "I can't help it that my husband only gave me boys." She held open her arms and smiled up at Helena who sighed and then crawled onto the bed pane and curled up Helga's arms. "It'll all be all right. Just be patient."

"The Healer says you're not getting any better," Helena reminded her.

"Remind me to have a talk with that Healer," Helga grumbled.

Helena giggled. "No," she retorted. "I happen to like knowing what's happening to you. And so do your boys."

"You talk to my sons now?" Helga asked in surprise. She gave a wry chuckle. "Will wonders never cease. Go look out my window. Are there pigs flying?"

"Mam!" Helena protested. "We get along because we all love you," she explained.

"Hmph." Helga smoothed Helena's long hair. "If only you could have done so years ago. I thought for sure you'd all tear down Hogwarts between you."

"It didn't help that you usually took my side," Helena reminded her.

"Five against one? That's unfair and they knew it," Helga protested with a frown.

"They were just children," Helena pointed out.

Helga sniffed. "One is never too young to know what is right and what is wrong. Five great lads picking on one small girl is not… it's not… _chwarae teg_," she growled.

"I know, Mam. Don't get so upset about it. Just rest now," Helena soothed.

/\/\/\/\

It was Spring when Helga Hufflepuff died. Her funeral was attended by all of her children—those born to her and those not. Helena stood with all five of Helga's sons, and the eldest Owain held her when she cried. Classes at Hogwarts were suspended for the week and everyone felt the loss of such a great witch.

"Here," Helena murmured. She held out a small, heavily-engraved cask. "Mam wanted you to have this."

Owain accepted it warily. "What is it?" He asked cautiously.

"A cup," Helena explained with a small smile. "It's got all of her best charms on it."

Owain blinked. "Mam wrote me about this," he whispered. He looked up at Helena. "Are you sure that you don't want to keep this?"

Helena shook her head. "No. It belongs with you and your brothers."

Owain gripped her hand. "Thank you for this, Helena."

Helena nodded. "Of course."

"Rowena wasn't at the funeral," Owain observed quietly. He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "I can't ever remember a time when Mam and Rowena were apart for longer than a day."

"That was a long time ago," Helena muttered bitterly. "Ever since she made that diadem she's lost in her studies. She never eats in the Great Hall anymore and she hasn't been to see me or Helga in months."

Owain stared at her. "Does she even know that… that Mam is gone?" He asked.

"I doubt it." Helena shook her head. "I'm sorry Owain. I know that you were close to her, but… she's changed."

"Perhaps I'll try and see her before I go," Owain offered.

"Good luck," Helena retorted. She grimaced and patted his shoulder. "I'm sorry Owain, really I am. If you want to visit Mother you are welcome to try."

/\/\/\/\

Later Helena couldn't say what drove her to do what she did. Many, many years later she would tell two men that she was jealous—that she stole it out of some twisted desire for her mother to consider that she was clever—but she lied. Not out of any desire to protect her birth mother. Her anger and frustration with Rowena quashed all of that. Instead it was love for her Mam that would seal her lips. At that moment all she knew was that she wanted her mother to wake up and realize that the love of her life had died and she'd never even noticed.

Stealing the diadem was ridiculously easy. Leaving Hogwarts was immeasurably harder. She had dwelt within Hogwarts stout wall since she was a child. She hadn't dwelt among Muggles for decades. Still… if it helped her Mam then it was worth it. Helena left in the middle of the night with the diadem sown into her cloak. No one stopped her. No one spotted her.

/\/\/\/\

The first time Rowena came to the Great Hall for a meal there was such a stir that she knew something was wrong, but she couldn't put her finger on it. She noticed that Helga and Helena weren't at the high table, but perhaps they were working on some sort of project together.

"Where is Helena?" Rowena asked the librarian later that day.

"Lady Helena?" The librarian frowned at Rowena. "My lady, she left months ago."

"Months ago," Rowena echoed in surprise. "Don't be daft."

The librarian blinked. "My lady, I promise you that the Lady Helena left at least six months' ago. Right after Lady Helga's funeral."

The world tilted under Rowena and her knees went weak for a moment. "What did you say?" She demanded.

The librarian watched Rowena worriedly. "I said that the Lady Helena left at least six months' ago. Right after Lady Helga's funeral."

"But… Helga can't be dead," Rowena protested. "I would know!"

It took a group of sturdy lads to get a hysterical Rowena to the school's hospital. She refused to believe that Helga was dead until Godric and Salazar both took her to Helga's grave and shared their memories of the funeral with her. A sob caught in Rowena's throat when she saw Helena and Helga's boys comforting one another.

"How can this be?" Rowena asked. "I… how did this happen and I didn't even notice?"

"You were always in your workroom," Godric replied with a shrug. "You left strict instructions that you weren't to be disturbed and you charmed your door to hex people if they tried to get near."

"She was my heart," Rowena told him sadly.

Salazar snorted derisively. "You wouldn't know it by how you treated her," he growled before he stood up and stalked out of the room.

"I'm sorry Rowena, but what's done is done," Godric stated calmly.

"No, no, I can fix this," Rowena insisted. "I'll just have Kenneth go and bring Helena back to me."

"Helena hates him," Godric protested.

"I know he won't give up," Rowena countered. "He'll keep looking—no matter what!"

/\/\/\/\

Helena never returned. There wasn't a day that didn't go by that Rowena would not go to her window and watch, hoping that Helena would return, but it was always in vain. Every day she would go to Helga's grave and leave her flowers. She would cry and beg Helga to forgive her, but that was seemingly in vain as well. Her grave remained cold and lifeless. Her laughter permanently stilled. Her smile never again to flash in Rowena's direction.

"I'm sorry," Rowena would whisper. "I'm so sorry."


End file.
